We all know that PMS is short for Premenstrual Syndrome, but it could just as easily stand for "Perilous Mood Swings," or "Partner May Survive." In our book, The First Five Years, we give a few tips on dealing with PMS. If you are the wife reading this, you know you have PMS if you are adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. Husband, you know your wife has PMS if she stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.
It is vital to keep your sense of humor when it comes to the hormonal challenges of the month, but we must never dismiss PMS as a trivial thing. There are as many as 150 symptoms that impact women and make them miserable. The most common include headaches, backaches, skin breakouts, fatigue, depression, and cramps. So what are tips for dealing with this monthly cycle?
Most doctors recommend keeping a symptom chart so you have an accurate record of the emotional and physical symptoms affecting your life. It may be informative to rate your symptoms. For example, a headache could range from one to ten in intensity, ten being the highest. Your anxiety could be rated one ("I feel a little grumpy") to ten ("I feel as if I am totally out of control and want to hurt someone!") I (Bill) began doing this during the second year of our marriage. I marked the ten days before Pam's period as a "no-fly zone." During those days, I spent more time listening and less time talking. I put a moratorium on major decisions. I did all I could to lower her stress.
In any battle, the enemy needs to be attacked from all sides. PMS is no different. You are created with mind, body, and spirit, so the remedies should include many facets: adjust your perspective, identify your priorities, intensify your prayer life, and deliberately prepare yourself ahead of time.
Adjust Your Perspective
I (Pam) remind myself that millions in the world are in real pain. War, famine, and disease are real problems. PMS is just an inconvenience. Reading real biographies or watching CNN or Fox news puts reality in perspective.
Identify Your Priorities
I am also a realist. On the second day of my period, I always feel as if I have the flu. Everything aches. I give myself some slack. I am not as creative on those days, but I can still do routine tasks. If I feel like it, I take a short nap, go for a walk, or swim. I am okay setting aside some "vital" issue for a day or two.
Intensify Your Prayer Life
When I feel at the end of myself, I ask God to send His strength in the areas I feel weak. I don't want to say or do anything during PMS that I have to spend the rest of the month making up for!
Prepare Ahead of Time
You might benefit from educating yourself on some PMS options, consult your doctor, read up on PMS, invest in your own wellness and give your spouse tips on what seems to be helping you the most and get him involved in giving you a little timely TLC.
Bill and Pam Farrel are best selling authors, relationship specialist who are the authors of First Five Years: Make the Love Investment that Lasts a Lifetime. The Farrels have been married nearly 30 years. Gain more tips on long lasting love at www.farrelcommunications.com
