"This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover" (Isaiah 38:1 NIV)
Most of us avoid thinking about the day we pass from earth to heaven. Even when we know where we'll spend eternity, we're not eager to leave our loved ones. It's difficult to imagine the end. Therefore, many of us often put off preparing for it. But one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is an organized notebook or file folder with copies of all of your important papers-from your Trust or Last Will and Testament to your medical records, bank accounts, and contact information for the key professionals you've worked with: physicians, attorney, accountant, pastor, funeral director, business partner or representatives, and close neighbors and friends who can assist your family with tasks that could be overwhelming at the time of death or disability.
FIRST STEP
In 1991 my husband and I put together a three-ring binder with copies of everything we had at the time, from birth certificates and wedding licenses, to our pre-paid plan for cremation and disbursement of our remains. We also made a Table of Contents listing the items found in the book so our kids could put their hands on any document easily and quickly. We felt proud of ourselves for taking this important step.
At the time, we planned to update it every year. But we did not follow through-until January of 2004-when we agreed to sit down and organize our affairs once again. First we created a Family Trust with the help of an attorney who specialized in such matters. Then we looked at every paper and document we had filed away and created a comprehensive list, updating where appropriate. Next we wrote a letter to our children expressing our wishes and intentions, attached the list of documents and where to locate them, and then made a copy for each of our grown children and sent them off via Priority Mail. What a relief it was to know that they will be able to take charge when the time comes.
AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW
The reward, however, came from our sons and daughters themselves who thanked us-each in his or her own way-for being an example of responsible behavior. I know they, too, breathed a sigh of relief when they saw in black and white an orderly presentation of all of our pertinent papers. Our parents had done this for us, and now we have done it for our children.
When the end comes or if we get to a point where we are incapable of handling our own affairs, the transition will be smooth.
If you are ready to do something similar, take time to consider how you wish to disburse your estate, who will be in charge, which professionals will be helpful to your heirs. This does not happen overnight or even in a few hours. It's worth setting aside a weekend, for example, or a couple of evenings when you are together as a couple or with your children for the exclusive purpose of discussing and organizing the information. Personal history, medical conditions and preferences, and financial facts are among the most important issues to be considered. You can compile a notebook as we did or you may prefer to use the Internet as a resource.
ORGANIZE IN CYBERSPACE
I discovered a service called LifeLedger, created by John Boden of Delray Beach, Florida available on the Web at www.elderissues.com <http://www.elderissues.com> . You may wish to visit the site and sign up for the services or simply read what it provides and then create your own assembly process. Either way, it is important to do something now and then to update it regularly so you can live the remainder of your life in peace and comfort.
I remember reading about a woman in her 60s, widowed at the time, who put all of her documents and wishes in order, passed out copies to her three children, and then told them she was off to see the world in whatever time she had left. Later her daughter reported that her mother had a wonderful decade of travel before she died.
"I miss my mother," she said, "but I'm so happy she used her retirement years in a way that was pleasing to her. She left a legacy of wonderful memories, as well as a notebook of well-organized documents that made it easy for my siblings and me to put her affairs to rest without going crazy! I want to do the same for my children when the time comes."
Karen O'Connor is an award-winning author, retreat speaker, and writing instructor from Watsonville, California. Visit Karen's web site: www.karenoconnor.com
