He's such a perfectionist! Whenever there is something out of place he'll get angry. For example if I place my phone on the dinner table he'll tell me how I always can't find my phone because I leave it at diffrent places and how my dad always leaves his phone in the same place blah blah.
Once right after we got a treadmill we were having dinner and my dad asked me if I was going to use it. I was having a sore throat then and decided not to exercise bacause my throat would hurt even more. I told him that. And he started telling me about how expensive it was and how the money will go to waste if I don't use it and stuff.
My dad has a bad temper. Just today he wanted to vacuum my room because it's dusty and I was studying. I knew that it would just get dusty again almost immediately. So I told him not to. But he persisted and brought the vacuum in. I put my legs up and told him I wouldn't put them down. He wanted to vacuum below my legs so he told me to move away. I told him I won't and he got angry. He shouted at me to move and I shouted back.
Then he got so angry he lifted the vacuum and shouted more and started hitting it on the floor until it broke. The my mom came in and dragged him out while scolding me.
My dad started shouting about hiw he works so hard to bring him money and his daughter won't lift her legs so that he can vacuum. He said how either he has to leave or I have to leave. Anyway my mother just took his side! Do normal people react like that?!
He always does that! Every Sunday he'll be at home and because of that I hate Sundays. I feel that whatever he doesn for me it's just because he has to raise me.
When he drives me to school, I always sit behind him even though the front seat is empty. I tell my parents that it's bacause I like sitting in the back since it has more space and stuff but the real reason is because Ii don't want to sit beside my Dad. I don't like going anywhere with him actually.
My dad thinks what he says is the law. And he keeps on putting my mother down! I don't know how my mother stands him! I hate my mom for marrying him! If he loses something, he'll start scolding the whole family even if it's his fault. I am 17 and he won't let me go out clubbing with my friends! And when I ask him why, he won't tell me the reason!
He'll just say things like 'if I say no it means no! You don't need to know the reason!" At least tell me the reason. He should at least sit down and tell me right?!
I HATE MY DAD!
I have a major temper.
Especially when things don't go how I want them to. In marching band I'm known as the strictest section leader, only because everyone knows I have a major temper. But I don't want to be known as that anymore.
How I did it: I learned how to deal with reality.
We all have a tendency to think we DESERVE things, or EXPECT things to go right all the time. We think things SHOULD happen the way we want them; i.e.: They SHOULD always get our order right at McDonalds, People SHOULD always drive correctly, etc. I SHOULD never get a ticket while driving.
If you never live in a world of "SHOULD" you will be better off. You could enjoy life better than visiting this fantasy world.
Lessons & tips:
?
Never let your expectations exceed reality!
?
An anger scale is 1-10. 1-5 you are still in control, 5-10 you are off the charts and saying things you wish you didn't say. Stay rational.
?
Don't get addicted to the behavior by choosing people's respect instead of their friendship or love
?
Take time to look at the whole picture before reacting.
1. I.E. You're sitting at a bus stop and someone is tapping you hard with a stick, your first reaction may be someone is intentionally hitting me. But, when you turn around, a blind man is just trying to find his way.
2. I.E. You're sitting at a bus stop. A man is there with his kids that are totally out of control, while he sits there with his head in his hands, you ask him in anger; 'Why do you let your kids misbehave like that?' He answers; 'I have just lost my wife and they lost their mother and I don't know what I'm going to do."
Now that you have received adequate information, you can respond more appropiately instead of 'flying off the handle. The more your mind is settled in reality; or the way things really are, the more calm you become.
